Math English lesson
The editors of Laboratory Equipment want you to start your week with a smile of your face. With years of science experience we’ve heard every science joke there is. So, here are some jokes we think you might like.
Q: How frequently should you make science puns?
A: Periodically.
Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was polar.
Q: How did Heisenberg respond when a cop pulled him over on the highway for speeding and asked him, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
A: “No, but I can tell you exactly where I am.”
Q: What do you do if a chemist gets sick?
A: Well, if you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably have to barium.
Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion.
Q: What happened after the two behaviorists had sex?
A: One turned to the other and said, “That was great for you, how was it for me?”
Q: Why don’t you ever hear new chemistry jokes?
A: All the good ones argon.
Q: How many analysts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: one to prove existence, one to prove uniqueness and one to derive a non-constructive algorithm to do it.
Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algebra.
Q: What’s a mathematician’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi!
Q: Why can’t you trust atoms?
A: They make up everything.
Q: What happened to the criminal light?
A: It ended up in a prism.
Q: What did the photon say when he checked in to a hotel and the bellboy asked if he needed help with his luggage?
A: “No, I’m traveling light.”
Q: Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle?
A: Because if you add four to four you get ate!
Q: What is the difference between a psychotic, a neurotic and a mathematician?
A: A psychotic believes that 2+2=5. A neurotic knows that 2+2=4, but it kills him. A mathematician simply changes the base.
Q: Why did Schrödinger work in a tiny garage?
A: Because he was a quantum mechanic.
Q: What will a logician choose: a half of an egg or eternal bliss in the afterlife?
A: Half of an egg, because nothing is better than eternal bliss in the afterlife, and a half of an egg is better than nothing.
Q: Why did the mathematician divide sin by tan?
A: Just cos.
Q: What do you get when you add two apples to three apples?
A: A grade school math problem.
Q: Why did the student do his multiplication homework on the floor?
A: His teacher told him not to use tables.
